Today was the day I faced the emotional roulette wheel that is called a CT Scanner. After nearly a year of surgery and chemo, I can now look forward to spinning around for the next few days in limbo until it chucks me out either on either the red or black next Wednesday evening.
I remember reading sensible advice about dealing with Scanxiety which to put it simply recommends either distraction or confrontation as a strategy for keeping your heart rate out of the tachycardic range!
Distraction was the strategy of choice and sure enough it presented itself, although not quite in the manner I had in mind. Neutropenia had won again and I had mysteriously picked up a nasty little sick bug which visited me yesterday and resulted in the Ian Rennie nurses sticking needles into my thighs last night to stop the sickness. I was no better in the morning so was told to take nozanin during the day, a very strong sedative and anti sickness pill.
Here’s where the challenge bit comes in. I had to turn up this morning viewing the world through what seemed like a film of bendy plastic, drink 700ml of white contrast dye and then lie down in the scanner. Luckily this wasn’t the MRI scanner that requires you to train as an oyster diver in order to hold your breath for eternity, but a gentler one called a CT. Despite a belly and armful of contrast dye, the nozanin tablets overpowered me and I nodded off and needed repeated proddings and computerised voiceovers to get me to move. Not the worst place I have fallen asleep, but I wouldn’t rush out and look for special offers on laterooms.com if I were you.
Meanwhile all these shenanigans have left me feeling pretty numb and I am now less expressive or mobile than your average mozzarella. Poor Mum has held the fort for over 10 days now and I need to release her to go to my Aunt & Uncle’s alternative royal celebration (their diamond wedding anniversary) tomorrow which sadly I won’t be well enough to attend but wish them very well and hope the diving equipment has turned up for what used to be called their garden.
p.s. a picture of the beautiful flowers my darling brother turned up with on Sunday to celebrate last chemo as well as a bottle of bubbly to open on Wednesday evening.
p.p.s a wicked hamper full of sweets that dear Jenny sent for the kids for being so good during all this rubbish. I am encouraged by how well Lois is dealing with it all; when telling her about the CT scan today, she interrupted and told me they now do magnetic nail varnish and then did a handstand! All is well. x