Normal service has been interrupted

The only benefit of being neutropenic is the extra week off to try and build the little white blood cells deserters (or neutrophills) back up.  My oncologist informed me rather matter of factly on Tuesday that I have lazy bone marrow. Something I can’t help feeling rather guilty about!

But what a treat these last 2 weeks have been.  I have spent literally days forgetting about having cancer and feeling ill and enjoying the sensations in my body as they are reawakened.  Believe me it’s pretty wonderful to be able to think in a joined up way, talk, smell anything (although not the dog), taste and sleep. 

Unfortunately this respite into normalness is short lived and I was back in yesterday starting chemo cycle 3. 

If you are inviting into your body a hardcore cocktail of chemicals that have the power of life and death, it’s quite usual to expect a trade off in the form of feeling pretty crap.  And so, I am spending the next week or so running at around 25% of my normal voltage. 

I arrived at the sunrise centre determined to practice mindfulness after seeing the BBC report promoting the success of happiness and removal of pain  But this also was short lived as I was approached to enter a national research study into colorectal cancer and asked nicely if I would care to give them some blood for this study.  As I already had the portacatch tube plugged into my jugular it seemed rude not too and so I let her take a couple of test tubes.  Still recruiting for this study – they have 20,000 and need 30,000 so may be a little while before we see the results of the link between genetics and bowel cancer, something that is very close to our families heart (or bowels maybe I should say).

Momentarily distracted from my meditation, I looked around for suitable reading material and finding only “caught out! I facebooked my boyfriend and found his wife!”, I decided to read the nice brochures of side effects for my latest panacea – a nice little drug that promises to eradicate both insomnia and sickness.  However on reading the promotional material I am alarmed to find these Nozinan tablets are commonly used to treat schizophrenia.  Is there something my doctor is not telling Rachel?

This ‘dalliance’ with normal life over Christmas allowed me and my brother to put together a tender for challenge number 2 – and I see my brother has highlighted the progress of this today!  More to follow!

Off now to the hospital to have the bone marrow injections so no lying in you hear, you lazy bone marrow! 1-2-1-2, fall in line!


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