My Reiki session this afternoon wasn’t quite what Mary, my therapist was aiming for as she pressed play on her relaxation tape and asked me to breath in peace and love and breath out stress and tension.
The assault on my senses didn’t match previous sessions where a kaleidoscope of colours danced in front of my eyes. This time, it was more akin to a freight train thundering between my ears.
The first clue that relaxation might be an illusive goal was the arrival of 3 boys on bikes who galloped 2 stairs at a time into my son’s bedroom. I have heard rutting stags make less noise. I breathed in deeper, my diaphram emptying faster than JD Sports in Croydon. “keep the noise down please I begged”. A moments silence followed by the bedroom door shutting and then the punch bag being knocked into next door’s hallway and more sounds of cats being neutered. Why aren’t boys taught in science that 3 inches of MDF doesnt cover them in a cloke of silence?
The door bell rings and yes it’s the arrival of my mother (or as she is fondly still remembered in Sussex, the Hassocks loud speaker). “JOSEPH, THERE ARE 6 PAIRS OF SHOES BLOCKING THE DOOR, I CAN’T GET IN”. Two more children, one of them mine fall in behind her. The dog barks. The phone rings. The boys fall over each other to get down the stairs first. Joseph begins his ernest attempt to play “Mad World” loudly and repititively and the poor strains of Mary’s relaxation tape give up their feeble attempt to distract and start to wail disconcertingly. We both collapse into giggles.
In the space of 30 mins we have moved from a relaxed family house to a lunatic assylum without the usual familiar interval of a mad hatter’s tea party. Mary tells me the Reiki will still do it’s work even if I am unable to benefit from the normal levels of relaxation and makes a mental note never to turn up again outside of school hours.