Has anyone tried hot elderflower tea?

This is a post about the increasing number of smaller hoops a 6 feet 4 Tim has to jump through daily to appease a health obsessed me on a mission to rid my body of cancer!

It all starts in the morning with a bowl of porridge (organic whole oats of course, no microwave allowed) and blueberries.  Tim picked up this trick from Bruce Forsyth who credits his longevity to porridge and precisely 12 blueberries each morning.  But as Tim is an artist, naturally my porridge comes with a new design each morning which is quite a feat to complete before the porridge goes cold and I throw it all over him!  I also get a nice cup of tea with rice milk as I am dairy free (ish). 

This is a Mondrian, yes?

This might seem reasonably easy to you, but when we now have a dozen water bottles delivered daily by my Mum or Dad as they have a fancy water filter which takes out the bad stuff and puts back in the good stuff, this is by no means a easy task.  We have red and white wine, perrier, elderflower and any bottle my Dad has recycled to fill up with healthy water, so it’s a bit of game in our house remembering the true contents of the bottles.  However, this morning the system went wrong when the bottle Tim emptied into the kettle was in fact elderflower which I can tell you from experience does not taste nice boiled and served up as tea!

In case you don’t already know all the cooking in this house is done by Tim.  He has installed a sensor on me and if I as much as make a move towards the kitchen, he appears from nowhere and gently guides me away from the cooker.

I bet however he hadn’t bargained on me turning the house into a never ending edition of ‘ready steady cook’ with my ever changing and increasingly complex dietary requirements.  Here’s a flavour of the challenges Tim has been given these last few months:

  1. Pre diagnosis –  the” I think I have IBS diet”
  2. Post diagnosis  – the no red meat, sugar or dairy product diet (see colon cancer stats on western versus african/eastern diets for proof!)
  3. Post colon surgery – the low residue diet to allow bowel to heal for 1 month, followed by high residue a month later.  5 small meals a day please
  4. Post liver surgery – the homemade hearty vegetarian soup as a meal diet
  5. Recovery and present day diet – vegetarian bordering on vegan plus for extra fun cross referred with the anti cancer diet and the alkalizing diet with a healthy dose of mucilaginous food (okra, parsley, ginger, linseed and fenugreek seeds).

Now you still might think that sounds pretty fair to me. But factor in 2 children, one of which is a confirmed meat eater. The other insists on baking cakes at the exact time dinner is being prepared which necessitates her darting inbetween TIm’s legs to get to the cooker and tipping flour over every surface, and your blood pressure might start to rise?

Aha, but it doesn’t end there.  The high tech cooker hob has decided to pack up which means all meals for a week now need to be cooked on a 2 ring calor gas cooker.  (No microwaves please after a swiss food scientist called Dr Hans-Urich Hertel discovered that eating microwave food can potentially cause changes in the blood associated with disease… I could go on).

And finally, coordinate the arrival of 3 separate meals with my pill regime; chemo tablets need to be taken with food at 8 hourly intervals.  And relax.  Oh no, sorry you can’t, you have ironing now to do on account of me still not being able to lift anything heavier than a kettle. 

High maintenance, me?

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10 thoughts on “Has anyone tried hot elderflower tea?

  1. Right I think I might have already posted this comment but I’ve had a glass (or 4) so I don’t apologise –

    ‘I will go for diet number 5 with extra edamammeeemememe beans’

    (It doesn’t seem funny anymore) Get back to work there is no gossip going on

  2. No i can’t say I have ever tried elderfower tea!! Was is sparkling?
    I to like Sir Bruce swear by porridge and blueberries for breakfast,i haven’t had a cold since I started eating it 18mths ago!
    Have you tried hot water and lemon first thing in the morning and last thing at night?
    I read in Mizz magazine about 30 years ago that Boy George swore by it ,and have been doing it ever since! Don’t think it did Boy George much good though!!!
    Tim is a very patient man…….but you’re worth it!
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    • Thanks Jane! My parents would approve of the hot lemon, my nana used to say if you knew the power of a lemon you would bow down and worship it! I will put in a request for it alongside the porridge… Xxxxxxxx

  3. Dearest Rachel, what can I say – a fabulous blog – as only you could present! Have I ever tried Elderflower tea, the answer is no but have you ever tried marks and spencer’s ‘Rhubarb and Custard’ vintage drink? It cannot fail to cheer you up, 1.for it’s raspberry pink truly rhubarb colouring, 2.for its name and all the glorious childhood imagery it conjures up 3. it tastes soooooo good, its a little kiss in a bottle. If I could bottle you up some everlasting kisses I would and i would call them the rhubarb kisses for the banana giraffe.
    So you wanted challenges – my first challenge for you is this, having witnessed a rather un-pc comedy series tonight entitled ‘life’s too short’ I challenge you to find the top 5 most un-pc shows or comedy strips around……
    Now I realise this is rather un-pc in itself as I should be challenging you with searching the earth and finding inner peace but where’s the fun in that? And besides unless you are Julia Roberts in the film/book eat,pray,love – you ain’t about to be embarking on the full ashram experience any time soon.
    And hey, in the practical sense, you don’t have to move far, so if you feel a narcoleptic episode coming on you can go ahead and snooze at your laptop and it has to make a change from jeremy kyle and porridge with blueberries?? 🙂
    So I leave you with your challenge and I look forward to your findings my dear. Loving you xxxxxxxxXXXXXXX ps have you seen the viral ‘jesus christ in richmond park’? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GRSbr0EYYU very funny.

  4. I am exhausted just reading it.
    I would set that challenge to someone like Gordon Ramsay and ask him not to swear !
    Now
    WHAT WE NEED PEOPLE
    Is a steady stream of funny stuff next Wednesday. Thanks to David (Cameron, not brother), the schools are striking. Well the teachers anyway. I think they wanna go Christmas Shopping (well it is payday). So that means the schools will shut. That means that Jo and Lo will be at home. That means that someone needs to look after them. But Rachel’s back in the airport lounge of hideous tan chemo-chairs with a drip sticking out of her portakabin. This means she’ll need someone with a very busy tongue to keep her distracted. If I take a day off I won’t have anywhere to go after that for a very long time (fabulous but they’ll take away Molly and my house). So lovely Keren was going to go but now she’s going to look after the kids. Tim will go, bless him, but he doesn’t natter like us womenfolk and she’ll need natter and distraction. ANY IDEAS ANYONE ???

    Or I could just natter to myself all weekend, record it, and post it on my ipod ?

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